I am super delighted to have Romana from Romana Life Coaching feature on my blog this week to share 5 tips on how to love yourself and your body more. I talk a lot about this to my clients as I believe it’s such a fundamental part of feeling happy from the inside. Have a read and let us know what you think by commenting below.
I’ve never met a woman completely satisfied with her body. I’ve met beautiful women, amazing and successful, full of life and ambition, and yet they all have something about their body they don’t like. For one woman, it might be her overall shape. For another, it might be her nose or lips. Perhaps when she looks in the mirror all she can see is cellulite on her thighs.
Why is so common for women to fixate on what they don’t like about their bodies? What drives our desire to look perfect?
I believe it comes from childhood when girls are exposed to advertisements on TV and in magazines. They see all those beautiful, amazing women with perfect bodies and smooth, clear skin. As little girls grow into women, they try everything to make their bodies more like those on TV and in clothing ads. But, no matter how hard they try, they can’t look like them.
It’s not because there’s something wrong with their body. It’s because someone edited out all the imperfections in those ads. Someone spent hours on make-up and hair to make that actress look a little younger, to cover any blemishes.
Let me tell you my story.
I was never happy with my body shape. I felt fat, even though I wasn’t. My butt and thighs were too big, my legs too short, and so on. I was criticizing myself all the time. I was ashamed of my body. In pursuit of a perfect body shape, I was exercising like crazy, 1- 2 hrs a day. I was running half marathons, but still my tummy was not flat enough. And I criticized myself even more for putting such an effort into healthy eating and exercising, only to never reach my ideal body. I felt like it was my fault, like I wasn’t good enough.
I wanted to be perfect. I thought that if I had a perfect body shape, people would love me, and I’d be happy. I couldn’t have been more wrong.
I had created a lie that I truly believed in. I told myself: “When I look amazing and have a perfect body, I’ll be happy and loved.” This led me to obsessive workouts where I ignored my body signals, which led to numerous injuries. I was constantly repeating negative self-talk, which made me sad and moody. This is a good example of how harmful hating yourself and your body can be.
It took me years to figure out that in order to feel happy and loved I needed to love myself and my body first. When I learned how to love myself, I became happy, joyful, and fulfilled.
Let’s dive into techniques I used to build a solid foundation of self-love.
1. Mirror work
Look at yourself in the mirror for two minutes every morning and two minutes every evening. Say to yourself:
“Despite my imperfections, I will love and accept my body as it is right now. I am grateful for the opportunity to live and improve, and my body helps me with that. Who I am is not defined by my body. I am an amazing woman, full of potential. I am beautiful, inside and out.”
Take a deep breath. Give thanks that you can breathe clean air. Take a long walk and enjoy the beauty of the world. Give thanks that your body enables you to see and walk and experience beauty. Make yourself your favorite dish, or go to your favorite restaurant. Savor every bite; give thanks that your body allows you to enjoy the taste of good food. Think of all that your body does for you and be grateful for that.
3. Change your self-talk
Change I SHOULD to I CHOOSE TO or I CAN. When you say, “I should eat healthier”, it weighs you down and indicates that you have no power over yourself. When you say, “I choose to eat healthier”, you take your power back. You are in control. You can make it happen. Other examples include:
I choose to love my body.
I can be more active today than I was yesterday.
I choose to enjoy life today.
4. Forgive yourself
Look into a mirror for five minutes every day and repeat, “I forgive myself for ___________.” It can be something small like eating a piece of candy you know you shouldn’t have eaten, or it can be something more significant, a mistake you made in a relationship. If tears come up, let them flow. After you forgive yourself, sit quietly for two minutes, hug yourself, and just feel love toward yourself in your heart. Allow your emotions to rise and sit with whatever comes up, accepting your emotions and working through them.
If you use these four techniques for 30 days every day, I promise you that your self-love will increase, and you will feel happier. You can choose to use one or all techniques for the rest of your life. Exercising self-love is like building a muscle. If you don’t use it, you lose it.
Leave a comment below and let me know what success you achieved using techniques described above.
If you find this article useful, share it with other women, so they can benefit from it too.
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Written by Romana Stokelj
THE OFFICIAL BIO
Romana Štokelj spent 11 years working with patients with various psychiatric disorders where she gained extremely valuable skills (listening, coaching) & knowledge (how the human mind works). She also spent 10 years working as a statistician where she transformed health data into insights how to help people acquire a better health. For the past 7 years, she has worked with multiple life coaches who have helped her dive deep within, to heal childhood trauma, dissolve anger, address feelings of resentment, worthlessness, insecurity, fear and guilt. She continues her personal and professional growth through additional coaching training at the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching.
When not coaching, she’s on her own mission of success. That includes all the things she enjoys – spending time with animals, running and weight lifting on daily basis, educating herself about clean eating, cooking vegan food, travelling around the world with her husband, reading & writing. The things she most enjoys are simple: having fun, a good beer and of course, a glass or two of a good wine with her husband & friends.
Want to know more about Romana’s coaching, click here to checkout her website.
While you are here did you check out my Goat’s Cheese and Spinach Egg Muffins? Give them a whirl!!